Violence in the Home

Home is the place where we expect to feel the most safe, but violence in the home is a serious problem. When a parent beats a child, someone strikes his or her spouse, or a date becomes violent, it is an assault -- and it's a crime.

Most people in situations of domestic violence don't think of themselves as being abused. They may be embarrassed, or they may be afraid that the person abusing them will hurt them worse if they tell someone. The abusive person may think that what he or she is doing is a normal behavior or that the abused person "deserved it."

Domestic violence can include:

• Emotional and verbal abuse

• Isolation from others

• Threats and intimidation

Causes

Domestic violence can and does happen in all kinds of homes. It's not confined to families at one economic level or to certain ethnic groups. Some stresses, such as financial problems or drug or alcohol abuse, can increase the chances of violence.

People who come from violent homes are more likely to become abusive in their own homes.

Signs of Domestic Violence

There are arguments and disagreements in every household from time to time, and people may get very angry. But domestic violence is more than just an angry exchange. Domestic abuse is an ongoing pattern of behavior. It can be immediately evident, such as physical abuse that requires medical attention, or it can be more subtle, such as vicious insults and demeaning comments. Some of the signs of domestic violence are:

• Serious physical injuries, such as broken bones or deep bruises

• Threats of serious injury, particularly with a weapon

• Physical abuse that is not life threatening but that is constant and unpleasant, such as slaps, kicks, pinches, or even unwanted tickling

• Controlling behavior, such as not allowing someone to take medications or to sleep or forcing sexual relations

• Isolating someone from other friends and relatives

• Constant belittling comments

• Unreasonable jealousy; constantly tracking where the person is and accusing him or her of being interested in others

• Destroying things that are important to someone else.

When You Suspect Abuse

If you think someone may be abused, talk to him or her.

• Say you are concerned that he or she may be harmed.

• Assure the person that he or she can talk openly to you without judgment.

• Talk about the harm domestic violence can do to children.

• Remind the person that domestic violence is a crime.

• Offer to help find social and legal services.

If you believe a child is being abused, report it to the police or the appropriate social service agency.